


If only I let him remember

by super_phan_natural



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Finds Out, First Kiss, Headcanon, M/M, One Shot, this is legit what I think once happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 03:17:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7204532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/super_phan_natural/pseuds/super_phan_natural
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas decides to do what he always wanted to do.</p><p>He wants to tell Dean what's on his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If only I let him remember

**Author's Note:**

> Did y'all know this was my very first destiel fic? I posted this about 2 years ago on wattpad, but I wanted to post something. Anyways, here ya go.

Green eyes and freckles are pierced into my mind, his charming smile flashing as he would laugh at a joke I would not understand. His laugh was nice, a chuckle that would make anyone in the room smile along. Sometimes people would not understand his jokes, but that never bothered him. He went through so much, and Dean soul is still burning bright.

I appeared in the hotel. Was I going to do this? I, an angel of the Lord, going to talk to Dean about how I truly feel? Yes, I was. And no amount of self arguing will change my official and mature opinion. But what if Dean does not feel the same feeling I do, the adrenaline and "butterflies" I get whenever I speak with him?. That does not matter. What matters is what I tell him, and in this case, his opinion does not matter. 

Ok, never mind. It does matter.

I rehearsed what I was going to say about 12 times. I was quite positive that this will work. Once I have declared my feelings, I will patiently wait for his response. Now after that, it will vary. If he feels the same towards me as I to him, then I shall (and this is a big if) proceed to kiss him. Is that what humans do? I believe so. But, if he does not feel the same... let’s not get into that. 

I walked into the main lobby of the motel that Dean stayed in and stopped midway. The man by the desk looked up at me and asked in a forceful voice.  
"Can I help you?"  
"Yes, I mean... well, never mind. Thank you for your time"  
I quickly walk out and turn the corner. I can't bring myself to do it. Why was I so nervous? It was the same Dean I knew. No difference there.

I appeared in their hotel room and see Dean making some food by the mini oven. He was slightly shocked to see my sudden and unexpected appearance, but I presume he has gotten used to my surprise visits. 

"Hey Cas" he greets quite casually. I immediately freeze. I just can't bring myself to say it.  
I don't answer anything. All of my senses seem to be buzzing, and I don't know what I'm doing. 

"You know, a lot is happening, but I'm pretty happy right now. You want some dinner? They are loaded here" He comments, snacking on a slice of apple.

"How's it going? You ok?"

I walk up to him and he puts down his peeling knife. I pull his shirt up towards myself and close the gap between us. I feel his shock and feel his eyes open wide with surprise and confusion. I don't let go and squeeze my eyes shut. But then, I feel him kissing me back. Slowly at first, but then he works his way up to my level. I feel for his silky soft hair, and he pulls me closer.

We break apart to catch our breaths.

"So, what's gotten into you?" He smiles at me.

"I have wanted to do this for a long time".  
And so we continue. his lips work on mine, and he caresses me as we end up on the couch. I pull away, and realize what I have just done. I can't do this.

I get up and his eyes go wide again.

"Where are you going?"

"My apologies Dean. I can't do this to you" I reply. I put two fingers on his forehead and erase what just happened.

"You won't remember now" I say as he stares at me, confused of what he just witnessed. I do not blame Dean. It is my fault after all. I wanted him, and forced it upon him. I disappear just as I hear Sam starting to enter the hotel. Those green eyes and freckles look confused, and that expression lasts burned into my mind. I can never tell him about that.

If only I let him remember.


End file.
